UNFILTERED THOUGHTS: A Brief Rant On My General Issues With ‘John Wick: Chapter 2’

What lies ahead is an unedited jumble of words, thrown onto a blank sheet of paper late at night after seeing a movie. Enjoy at your own risk.

Note: Profanity included. Pictures will be added when I’m on my laptop, not on a toilet on my phone at work…

To The Numerous Fans of John Wick and John Wick: Chapter 2, Who Baffle Me With Their Tastes:

Y’all are kidding me, right? Y’all are in on this together, just to make me upset, yes? Cause I’m upset.

I wish Keanu had killed me.

So what the hell am I missing with this whole “John Wick and John Wick: Chapter 2 are, like, actually good movies!” phase? I shrugged after John Wick, but chalked my disappointment up to seeing it on my tiny television with trash speakers, rather than in theaters. So, of course, I see Chapter 2 in theaters (and not only in theaters, but in glorious XD (!) just to be certain) only to find it does next to nothing for me. Is there something wrong with me? Sure. But is there something wrong with all of you, you consumers of film, for loving this schlock? Maybe? Don’t mistake my anger for real anger. I’m genuinely glad you liked this movie. But I didn’t. Here’s why:

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